Holidays can be a mixed bag of experiences. Many people celebrate holidays by inviting friends and family, going to parties or meals, and enjoying time off from work or school. Yet, holidays can also bring stress, travel, disrupted routines, louder environments, reminders of grief, and increased social demands. Service dog handlers often carry dual responsibilities: caring for their own health and working to ensure their dog’s well-being. So, if this time of year feels overwhelming, you’re not alone!
This blog post will cover boundaries, safety considerations, mental health tips, and practical “survival” strategies for the upcoming holiday season.
Setting Health Boundaries (For You and Your Dog)
In previous blog posts (https://atlasdog.org/why-boundaries-matter-especially-for-service-dog-handlers-and-trainers/), we explored setting healthy boundaries for you and your dog. Boundaries such as saying “no”, using scripts for navigating difficult verbal interactions, and setting expectations were covered in detail in one of our Facebook Live posts (https://youtu.be/JDIcaOTgn3k?si=XuT0mj8jKZ_4utHG).
For the holidays, here are a few suggestions for service dog teams to set them up for success:
- Saying “no” to extra events or extended family/friend obligations
- Using scripts for handling unwanted attention or questions about your dog
- Setting expectations early, such as giving yourself permission to leave early, step outside to compress, or take extra potty breaks.
- Advocating for your dog’s space when interacting with children or relatives who want to spend time with your dog.
- Setting one or two realistic goals for this holiday season (not ten)
- Remembering that the “bare minimum” is still enough
Some possible scripts or statements could be:
- “Even though we are at a party, my dog is working right now. Please do not pet them.”
- “I need to step away for a quick break – I’ll rejoin when I’m ready.”
- “My dog needs a break, we are going to sit over here,” or “Please don’t call her name while she is working.”
- “My dog is not a robot. They are allowed to make mistakes, have bad days, and have preferences and needs.”
Mental Health Tips for Handlers
Emotional boundaries are just as important as physical boundaries. Give yourself permission to decline conversations about your disability or health when needed to protect your mental bandwidth and emotional well-being. Holidays can be exceptionally difficult for individuals who have stressful family dynamics or have experienced trauma, grief, or loss. Preparing ahead for triggering situations can be helpful.
Expect Disruptions & Give Yourself Grace
When dealing with family or friends, predictability may be limited. It can be helpful to expect disruptions and give yourself grace when plans or expectations do not work out. People with chronic illnesses or neurodivergence often experience spikes of fatigue or overwhelm, especially when structure or predictability is disrupted.
Build a Coping Plan
When entering potentially triggering situations, it can be helpful to prepare by building a coping plan. This could be done verbally with a trusted support person, but it is often very helpful to have a written or typed plan when your brain or body feels overwhelmed.
A coping plan could include:
- A list of warning signs that you are reaching your limit (e.g. going non-verbal, feeling sweaty or irritable, shaking)
- Three to five grounding strategies that work for you
- A “time-out” cue or gesture you can use with your dog to step away from overstimulation (such as a “graceful exit” cue).
Preparing for emotional triggers can help you create distance from distressing emotions or physical sensations. Family conflict, grief, anniversaries, or loneliness can intensify around the holidays. Acknowledging these feelings compassionately, rather than pushing them aside, supports healthier coping. Slowing down your response allows you to make value-based decisions about how to handle stressful situations.
It can also be helpful to check in with a trusted mentor, friend, or mental health clinician before or after stressful events. Warm Lines and Crisis Lines such as 988 are readily available via text, phone, or instant messaging.
Supporting Your Dog’s Mental & Physical Health
Holidays can be particularly stressful on your service dog. Maintaining structure where possible goes a long way toward protecting your dog’s emotional and physical resilience. Keeping predictable bathroom, feeding, and rest schedules – even while travelling – is important. Likewise, maintaining consistent obedience expectations, even when the situation and those around you are unpredictable, helps your dog feel secure.
Recognizing signs of stress, such as yawning, licking lips, whale-eye, or refusing cues, is important. Taking the initiative to remove your dog from overwhelming situations, when possible, can help. In addition, adding plenty of decompression time during holiday travelling or plans can help your dog bounce back and recover emotionally and physically. Ideas for decompression include short walks, sniff breaks, crate time, quiet rooms, puzzle feeders, or lick mats.
Safety Considerations for Service Dog Teams
The holidays can pose unique hazards for service dog teams, including toxic foods, decorations, loud noises, moving vehicles, and unfamiliar environments. Planning trips or events ahead of time can help you prepare safe places for your dog to settle during gatherings or identify areas or times of day to avoid travelling.
Travel safety ideas include:
- Packing a “service dog go-bag” with medications, gear, paperwork, high-value treats, and first-aid basics
- Planning for potty and decompression breaks between travel obligations (i.e., between flights/layovers, train or bus swapping)
- Checking airline or public transportation guidelines before traveling
- Double-checking gear fit for comfort and winter weather
Knowing where the nearest emergency vet is located can reduce anxiety while traveling. It’s also helpful to have a “backup handler plan” in case you become unwell. If traveling alone, let the people you are visiting know how they can support you and your dog in an emergency.
When to Reach Out for Support
Remember that you are not alone during this potentially stressful time! Other service dog handlers are experiencing similar situations during this holiday season. Reaching out to your Atlas Facilitator, your vet team, or other trusted support people can provide new ideas and reassurance. Connecting with fellow service dog handlers in safe spaces, such as online support groups, can normalize your experiences and offer helpful strategies. Asking for help is a form of resilience and strength, not weakness.
As you move through the holiday season, remember that caring for yourself and your service dog is essential. The holidays can be challenging, but you and your service dog have the tools, support, and partnership to navigate them with confidence. Whether you set boundaries, slow down, or seek extra help, you are choosing resilience and building a healthier and more sustainable season.
