This article is part two in a three part series on boundaries. Part one can be found here. Part three can be found here.
Everyday Boundaries for Service Dog Handlers
In the last blog post, we established what boundaries are and explored the different types: physical, emotional, time-based, and relational. We also looked at the differences between healthy and unhealthy boundaries, including porous and rigid styles. Since then, you might have experimented by noticing different environments or recurring situations where setting a boundary could have been helpful. In this post, we’ll explore common boundaries specifically relevant to service dog handlers and trainers and learn creative ways to implement them. So that way, when future opportunities arise, you’ll be ready to practice with more confidence and clarity.
Setting and holding boundaries as a service dog handler can be very challenging when it comes to friends, family, strangers, and even other dog owners. Remember: boundaries aren’t about being harsh or distant but about protecting what matters most to you. It’s essential to ground your boundaries in your values, which are what’s important to you, when determining the types of boundaries to set. While following through isn’t always easy, you’ll be more likely to utilize boundaries when you have clear, meaningful reasons behind them.
Navigating public spaces and intrusive questions can present constant challenges for handlers. From less direct stares or body language to unsolicited advice or confrontation, it can be very helpful to have scripts and strategies ready. Calmly stating, “My dog is working, please don’t distract them,” or “I don’t discuss my medical history with non-family members,” can be effective. The Atlas Assistance Dogs training program incorporates boundary scripts and practices to support each client’s individual needs. Atlas facilitators work collaboratively with clients to ensure they are comfortable setting and maintaining their boundaries, thereby reducing stress and increasing confidence.
Setting expectations with friends and family can be especially challenging. Loved ones may not always understand the purpose and seriousness of a service dog. Educating them gently with direct language about important boundaries, such as not calling/distracting the dog while working, offering treats, or giving commands, can help preserve the dog’s focus and respect the handler’s needs.
Handlers have every right to say no when someone asks to pet or take photos of their dog, or when strangers ask invasive questions. They also have the same right to request that family or friends behave in specific ways around them. A simple “No” or “No, my dog is working right now” is enough. I challenge you not to add a ‘sorry’ to the end of these scripts. Setting boundaries is not a punishment and does not harm someone else, even if their response reflects that they are disappointed or upset. For those with trauma histories, these moments can be deeply uncomfortable. Having supportive responses or backup plans, such as a card or visual cue (e.g., raising a hand in a ‘stop’ motion or shaking the head ‘no’), can help reduce the emotional load.
Boundaries for Trainers—Protecting Your Time, Energy, and Role
It is just as important for service dog trainers to have healthy boundaries with their clients as it is for service dog handlers. Clear communication is essential for building a strong client-trainer relationship, one that is established on trust and consistency. Trainers often have multiple hats in supporting their clients, providing professional education, training, and even emotional and physical support at times. Boundaries, such as communicating when and when a trainer is available, outlining a training session structure, honoring defined start and end times, and clearly establishing role limits, are good places to start.
Managing communication between training sessions is another opportunity to create boundaries. While some clients may benefit from occasional check-ins or updates, it’s important to specify how and when communication outside of scheduled sessions is appropriate. Trainers might utilize boundaries such as only responding during business hours or asking clients to compile detailed questions for the next meeting. Boundaries like these help protect the trainer’s time and energy while encouraging client independence.
Try to be as specific as possible about what feels like sustainable and professional communication. What’s okay (e.g., emails, texts during business hours) and what’s not okay (e.g., 3 am phone calls, personal social media) is dependent on your professional requirements and personal needs. Avoiding dual relationships, such as stepping into the role of a therapist-like figure or acting as a personal vet-tech, helps trainers maintain clear professional boundaries and reduce emotional overextension and ethical concerns/liability. Staying within your defined role protects both you and your client, which fosters a healthier and more sustainable working relationship.
Trainers often must walk a fine line between providing professional guidance and honoring a client’s right and agency to make decisions about their service dog in training and their training journey. A trauma-informed approach to boundary making avoids power struggles by establishing clear and consistent boundaries, offering choices, inviting collaboration, and respecting when a client has their own boundaries.
Compassion fatigue is real. Trainers can absolutely be affected by demanding environments or challenging sessions. Allowing yourself space to decompress after sessions by not overscheduling yourself back-to-back can be a fantastic example of setting a time boundary. It can be complicated to say no or limit your availability, such as when a client’s request conflicts with a significant personal event. However, setting boundaries is ultimately about protecting your emotional energy so you can sustain your work intentionally.
Final Thoughts – Part 2
As you begin to recognize and set boundaries for yourself in your role as a service dog handler or trainer, remember that it’s okay if it feels awkward or uncomfortable at first. Boundary work is a skill that grows with lots of practice and self-compassion. The more that you honor your needs, the easier it becomes to set clear boundaries with others.
But what about the boundaries you set with yourself? And what happens when you do your best to set a boundary, but it’s ignored, crossed, or doesn’t seem to meet your expectations? In the next blog post, we’ll explore the importance of internal boundaries, how to recognize signs that boundaries need to be adjusted, and what to do when your boundaries don’t seem to be effective.
This article was written by Michelle DeRosa. Michelle is a Licensed Clinical Health Counselor in Virginia and Maryland and a National Certified Counselor. In addition to their private practice Pathway Psychotherapy, PLLC, Michelle serves as the Director of Counseling and Student Health at Virginia Wesleyan University in Virginia Beach, VA. Michelle currently serves as a mental health consultant for Atlas.
While waiting for Part 3, check out the resources below!
Further Reading & Resources:
- “Set Boundaries, Find Peace” by Nedra Glover Tawwab
- “The Book of Boundaries” by Melissa Urban
- “Trauma Stewardship” by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky
- “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by Emily and Amelia Nagoski
- Mental health resources for animal welfare warriors. Manage compassion fatigue, burnout, and secondary traumatic stress while building resilience.Jennifer Blough, LPC – https://www.animalwelfarewellness.com/
- Atlas Assistance Dogs Resource Page
About Atlas Assistance Dogs
Atlas Assistance Dogs is a non-profit organization that fundamentally expands access to assistance dogs. We support people with disabilities to train and certify their own service dog using positive, ethical training methods. At Atlas, we believe anyone who would benefit from a qualified assistance dog should be able to have one.
We work with people with a wide range of disabilities who wish to train their own service dog as well as offer a comprehensive Academy for professional trainers wanting to become service dog trainers. For more information about Atlas’ Client Certification program or other training services, please visit www.atlasdog.org or contact info@atlasdog.org.
